boyfriends and heartaches

Okay so i am going out with this awesome- ly amazing guy. He is very nice and always treats me with respect. (even if i do not deserve it.) I have no idea what i did to deserve him. Okay but the thing is, he was my older sisters boyfriend before he started dating me. I know... weird. But i really don't care. I am so happy that i am dating him. Ever since i have, my friends say that i have been happier, better to be friends with etc. I guess i have been better dating him then the other guys i have dated. OMG! The first one, Alex, didnt care about me, abused me and tried to sexually assult me once. The next one, Bruce, liked my best friend and was using me to make her jealous. The third one, Paul, he ended up being gay. After those, i kind of stopped. That was until Chris came along. He was my sisters best friends brother. OMG! He was pretty good at being a boyfriend. i was very happy with him until he met someone different and dumped me. Again, i swore off dating. My heart couldn't take it. Then kaitlin and Brandon broke up. Me and him were talking and he asked me out. I had been crushing on him for awhile but he was kinda off limits. So of course i said yes. that was 4 months ago. We are still going out and we are as happy as anyone could be. But my sister hates our relationship as well as others (not going to name names. :D ) So a word to the wise: Be careful about who you give your heart to. Wait till the right one comes around. i have learned my lesson. All the other relationships: lasted about 2 weeks, but the heart ache: about 1 month. Just be careful.

Art Show: How awkward! :(

So i am back from the art show and Man! Was it awckward.... my dad was taking so so so many pictures of me with my art work and my step mom was wanting to take the class and my mom was mad because she miss placed the memory card for the camera (Kudos to my sister for taking it!) And my future step dad dan was looking around at everthing making comments about my legs.... (Long story... we made sculptors out of tape but we had to tape our own body parts.... my legs and torso and boobs were taped... :D) Anyways, we were like the hicks at a fabulous ball that we were standing out.... it was SO embarrassing.... but to put a god side to it... I GET TO MEET MARY PRATT!!!!!! (This summer that is!) She is a very VERY well known artist who is known for her very good paintings.... and very expensive ones....

But the thing i dislike the most is MY PARENTS! the other thing is, my parents are not supportive of anything i do so its really hard to actually try and do something.. which is hard because then your parents will get mad at you for not doing anything and succeeding.. Arrgg!!

Why does life have to be So complicated?!?!

Im pretty sure that when God made the world, he never intended for us to have disapproving parents, bad grades, not being able to do anything.. etc.. its really difficult, but with God's help we can get through any obstacle thats in the way because God is bigger then any problem you could ever have.

So, im learning to trust God more and more with my life. Giving all of it to him instead of certain parts.

:)

Friends......

Kay so new thought that happened today at lunch. im sitting with my friends and wonder.. hmm i have a lot of different friends. Emo, goth, preppy, rocker, popular, cheerleaders, jocks, regular people, Christians, geeky, everyone. i find that there is a whole bunch of different people as our friends. why is that? what makes us attracted to them? why do we pick different people? half of the people in my group of friends are the total opposite and a few are like me. But we all have something in common. we are all quick to judge other people. Even me.. yes i know that i am too. we all are guilty of that. the only person who didn't judge other people was Jesus. Maybe they don't sing very well, or they dress weird, or they like school and homework and you don't. we all judge because we think that it is weird because it is different from us. Jesus is the only one who doesn't judge others. The only one. He didn't judge people because they were poor or because they didn't do the right thing and sinned. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So we would all be judged wouldn't we? but we havn't. Jesus loved us all and didn't judge us and he died on the cross for us so we could go to heaven... he loved us that much that he didn't judge us.

So, thats what i thought today.

I think that the next time you see someone who is different go talk to them and don't judge them... thats my challenge for you guys this time.. :)
Happy Monday!

Why?????

I have never been this mad at my dad.
He is being a control freak and trying to control my life. And when i tell him he can't he flips out... and makes me feel horrible and like a horrible daughter.
Sometimes i wish things that i want to come true. sometimes i wish he was dead then it will be all okay but then i can live my life the way i want to. but then i know that i should love him the way Jesus loves him and then i am not mad at him.
Sometimes i wish that there was a way to escape all of this. I am physically unable to be free of this. I have no where to go and i don't know how to live on my own. I don't know how people who cut stand the pain. i tried once and it hurt too much and i couldn't continue.
And the other thing is, i can't kill myself because of all the people outsside of my family that love me.
So what im trying to say (not sure if i was successful in getting it across) but if there is anyone in your life that is like my dad then you know that there is people out there going through the same thing. and also know that i am praying for you and i hope you know that.

That was me venting. thanks for listening (or reading).
Thanks.

The Name of the Game

I'm sure that you all have gotten your hearts broken right? well i have too and just recently. This guy who we will call Bob, broke my heart then came crawling back for more. And i took him back. i thought that i was wrong about him the first time and hey he changed right? and then he hurt me again. and trust me it still hurts the second time. I was told i wasn't worth it and that's great but then he gets back and asks me out AGAIN and won't leave me alone. Has anyone had that happen to you before? well i have MANY times. Okay so i would be what you guys call a hopeless romantic. i like to think that the one who will sweep me off my feet is close but he never is. So whats the name of the game? why do we all keep playing this game called love but is really heartbreak if we keep getting hurt? and why is it that we always get hurt as females and the guys walk away un hurt? that's why i wanna know the name f the game. If any of you know what the name is and why we keep playing then please let me know. And as an after thought........ i would advise you all to wait for the right guy. I have learned that the hard way and its not pretty to go down that road and get your heart broken. If i could save the world from that then i would. Absolutely would. But none of us are supermen and superwomen so we can't. But i do advise you to wait for awhile. at whatever age you are step back and see if you are: one.... Mature enough. two..... emotionally stable enough. and three..... old enough. wait till your older till you get into a relationship. You only live once so do what YOU wanna do and don't become an option to someone else. That's it for right now. :)